The Ears Have It

For the past few days I have been going crazy because of a nast itch in both ears. I spent so much time trying to make it stop I was sure I might blow an ear drum in the process. TOday I went to my GP and he checked it out and said I have an ear infection in one ear and the other is messed up becaue of radiation. Apparently brain radiation can turn any ear wax (ick) one might have into cement, so lucky me I have an infection in one ear and a building project in the other. He gave me antibiotics and ear drops and hopefully this will clear it all up.

We all know I got my good news in December but I guess they finally got around to sending the results to my GP. He opend the file started reading the results and then said " you're a miracle, that tumor was huge" I said but Doc I told you this in Dec." he says " I know but when you see it in in writing it makes it so much more real...good for you!) He actually hugged me...sooo not like my Dr. I have been going to the Dr. for over 20 years and he's always had the same nurse, you know the one who knows your voice when you call for an appointment. Well, today was the last time I'll see Mary because she's retiring as of tomorrw. When I think about her giving Chris McDonalds fries coupons when he was there for something and then giving him his weekly allergy shots, I realize what a big part of my familys' life she was. I hope she has a grand retirement but I'm going to miss her.

I got to reunite with some old friends today when I went to the local radio station to plug a CASA training that's coming up. I must say I got a grand welcome and I was very happy to see them as well. For some reason from the first time I went there we hit it off and they are always kind enough to let me come and steal some of their airtime to promote CASA. That's one of my favorite parts of being back to work, I can go see my friends at the station. :)

So for any of you who missed it, I'm done with radiation, they tell me the side effects will worsen a bit over the next two weeks ( more cement and less hair?) and then everything should calm down in a couple of months. I have to say when I was laying on that table every day I wasn't thinking about how strong this stuff is. I must say it'sd going to be nice to get home earlier though, I have things I need to list on ebay and sew for my grandson! :)

Well I feel a nap coming on, have a great week and you guys in the city should come up here we hardly have any snow.

Hair We Go Again

Well my hair is falling out again. They told me this would happen but I was hoping they were wrong, guess not. The thing that had me puzzled for a few days was why I was so upset about it . The last time it fell out during chemo this summer I basically shrugged and went about my business. This time it has me a bit crazy. Then last night I figured it out, the first time it fell out I was dealing with just finding out I had cancer, chemo therapy, and radiation this time I'm dealing with some light weight radiation ( still kicks my butt and makes me want to sleep) and that's all. This time my hair falling out is a big deal because it can be. Also it was growing in a really funky kind of way that I was getting to like alot.

I don't know if I'll be totally bald, I wasn't after chemo, I had some peach fuzz left. I hope I do now too because I think I look better with fuzzy than shiny.

I know some of you are thinking "but Sue you have your cranial prosthetic device ( wig) Why not wear that?" Well I have a few reasons, one being I've never worn it yet so I can't exactly make a gradual change, another being I just think it's fake, it's a nice wig but for someone like me who has never even worn blush every day I can't imagine putting on my fake hair, it's just not me.

Also no hair is the summer is alot better than no hair in NNY in January ( just sayin').

I have 4 more radiation appointments left and then I'm done...hummm, then what? I've been doing this so long I think I'm going to feel a bit lost when it's all over. Well not totally over, I go back to the oncologist in the beginning of February, I don't know if they're going to do any tests or just say hello. The hard part is thinking if they're going to do more tests what will the results be, but again this isn't anything I have any control over so I just have to stay positive and realize that this is now part of my life and I can't let it stop me from living a happy and peaceful life.

They tell me I'll be feeling the effects of this bout of radiation for several months, just like last time because the radiation is in my system that long. Thankfully so far I haven had any horrible side effects, just the hair loss and a bit of memory loss ( people are kind about finishing sentences for me) and of course the ever present tired feeling ( naps are gifts from God). So I guess by summer all things going well, I should just about be back to me ( notice I didn't say normal).

Speaking of naps I think I feel one calling my name. :)

Not a Messy Desk but a Full One

This week is more about work and home than cancer ( this could be a good sign I think). Anyway since I've been back to work part time there has been lots for me to do, not the least of which are yearly grants, year end reports and getting our yearly Pasta for CASA fundraiser rolling. It seems I've lost my mail merge brain cells and I had to enlist the help of our Office Administrator Cindy to help me, thank goodness she still has all of her mail merge cells!

That done it was time to move on to other projects that seem to be on hold because my email isn't working. apparently I can send someone an email but if they hit reply I never see that mail, I know this because I've had a compaint or two, we've been waiting 2 days now for the computer guy to show up and fix this.

Meanwhile at home I came home to my 84 yr old mother pitching a hissy because her phone was dead. My friend Larry talked to the cable company and got it going only to have it die another 3 days in a row ( they're coming today in person to fix it). Apparently an 84 yr old woman without a phone is like a junky without a fix, withdrawal isn't pretty.

Now, you may think ick, some week but there's more. One morning as I was drinking my coffee I hear something dripping, now in a house this old, that's never a good thing. I followed the noise to water dripping out of the kitchen ceiling onto the refrigerator, most likely from the upstairs bathroom. Oh YAY. So we called the plumber who just happened to be in our town and he came over and discovered a leak in the tub upstairs ( this tub should be sent to the Smithsonian's gallery of what things should never look like when they get old). Bless him he fixed it (sort of) it still drips, just down the drain now not behind the tub. If I ever won the lottery the very first thing I'd do is get a new tub but as it is that's what we got (ugh).

Then this AM I wake up with a head splitting headache and some dizziness that seems to be OK as long as I don't move much, I think it could be radiation related or maybe it's phone/tub stress..I'll ask then when I go to get toasted this afternoon. I did stay home from work though because , headache, dizzy queasy isn't something I want to share if it isn't radiation related. Thankfully Larry will take me to radiation this afternoon, and maybe by then the phone guy will have been here and Mom can get her fix. We're also getting her a track phone ( for emergencies like to call me to tell me the phone won't work...kinda like audio methadone :).

Hope you all are having a good week and the snow didn't bother too many of you !

Brain Radiation Days

This looks very much like the mask I wear for brain radiation, this isn't mine. You lay down on the table and they put this on ( it's tight) and then they attach it to the table. they don't want your head moving around while they're zapping you...works for me. So I'm about 1/2 way through already and everything seems to be going well although I know from experience that radiation can build up and then slap you silly when you're not expecting it. I'm hoping this dosen't happen.

The big news is I actually ate a 1/4 pounder with cheese this week ( I know, if I was going to pick a burger why one of those?) Well it was on my way home and I was hungry and I thought if I can't swallow it no big loss :). So I am a happy camper, this means I can eat some other sandwich type things again too, ( unlike the oyster cracker that I just got stuck in my throat while trying to eat some soup...i knew I should stay away from the soup LOL).

Still no pizza but it'll come sooner or later and when it does I'm going for the cardiac version with anything and everything on it !

Chris submitted that cute Christmas pic of Rex with the Christmas lights to Syracuse.com and won the photo contest. Pretty cool, they got a dinner gift certificate and Syracuse Stage passes, here's the link.

http://www.syracuse.com/photo-contests/index.ssf/2011/01/holidays_photo_contest_winner.html

Work is busy busy, grants to write and fundraisers to organize but I'm happy with the shorter hours because the radiation still takes it out of me and will for awhile I guess.

I noticed the days are getting longer, that's a good thing, maybe I won't want to be in bed by 8:00pm anymore soon.

Have a great week! Sue

A Brand New Year

Happy New Year! I hope it will be a great one for all of us. I'm not sure how to judge last year, I mean they told me I had cancer ( bad), then they told me it was gone ( awesome) BUT best of all was the arrival of Rexton so I guess the good outweighs the bad. Hopefully 2011 will continue better than it started with me having a 24 hour stomach bug..I haven't had one of those in years and I hope to never have one again. Chemo was a walk in the park compared to that, well, except I still have my hair.

So I've had a weeks worth of radiation treatments to my brain, so far so good although I know it takes awhile to "cook". They did tell me that if your hair is really short ( as mine is) sometimes it won't fall out, that would be nice.

I'm sitting here watching it rain thinking about all you folks who got buried last week, I hope things are clearing out for you. We're supposed to get some lake effect tomorrow but we're so used to it we don't even blink.

Here's hoping 2011 brings you all you're hoping for and more and my resolution is to get to see some of you this year!!