I Am Thankful

I want to take this time to wish you all a Happy Thanksgiving and I hope you all have a wonderful day with your family and friends.

Also I want to thank you all for reading my ramblings and commenting on them when you feel like it. This blog has helped to keep me sane since last May and I thank you all for being a part of it and my adventures.

I have a lot to be thankful for this year, I have a beautiful new grandson ( that I don't see nearly enough, I should visit), I still have a job and a place to work where they care about my situation and condition as well as the job that needs to get done. I have a great guy who's been with me for every test, scan, chemotherapy appointment, radiation appointment and continues to be my sounding board and a tower of strength, my Mom is still here and although we drive each other crazy, it's good to see her every day and know that if it's soup I want it's soup I'll get, I have Chris and Jenny and know if I need them they'll be there and I have all of you.

I've said before I'm a very lucky person, sure I have cancer but I could be alone in this world with no one to care, I could be uninsured not knowing how I was going to afford medical care, I could be in a lot of physical discomfort and I'm not most of the time. I don't know what the future is going to hold but then which of us do?

So thank you all for all of your prayers, positive energy, funny comments and friendship. You all help to make this road I'm traveling easier and you point me in the right direction when I need to find my way.

If you drink please toast yourself from me, if you don't ,have something yummy and know I'm saluting you and your friendship. Happy Thanksgiving to everyone with my appreciation and affection.

Wow I never fainted before.

Today after work I decided to finally run an errand I keep forgetting and get new batteries put in some of my Fossil watches ( I love Fossil watches I have a few). When I got to the mall my stomach was feeling a bit funny but I didn't really think much of it. By the time I got to the watch kiosk in the mall I needed a ladies room. The young lady at the watch place told me which store could help me out and off I went. As I was on my way I noticed that I was breaking out into a cold sweat , I found a sales lady who pointed me in the direction of the ladies room and also mentioned that I looked a bit flushed. I used the ladies room and while I was in there I called Larry and told him I was at the mall and not feeling very well ( was was sweating like crazy by now)he said he was on his way. I went back out to the watch place and the girl was alarmed at how I looked, I told her I was a cancer patient and she said that she had been several years ago and she knew how things could creep up on you. I went and sat down until she was done with my watches and at the same time I saw Larry. I went up to the counter and evidently I passed out for a few seconds while paying for my watches. Larry revived me and they sat me down again and the mall emergency gentleman came over. By then I was feeling better , they got my coat off and gave me some water, I told them I didn't want an ambulance. They pushed me in a wheelchair to my car and Larry brought me home.Turns out the mall gentleman's mother also has cancer and he understood my problem . Everyone at the mall was extremely nice and made sure I was OK before they let me leave, I appreciate their help.

For me this means I'll be Internet shopping or taking Larry with me from now no. I don't know what caused this but it was scary and I'm still shaky if not dizzy. The kindness of people just touches me and since I've been sick it seems I've met so many kind and helpful people, I need to find a way to thank them all.

The good news is I can now wear 3 of my Fossil watches again since they now have batteries :)

Results Finally

The wait was killing me and then I get to the Dr. and they forget me. I literally had to wait 45 minutes before one of the techs came out and said OMG I forgot you.

Anyway, the news is OK not great as in no cancer detected but OK as in the tumor has shruken consierably from 20 X 11 cm to 6 X 3cm. What we don't know is if it is active cancer or just some scar tissue or the tumor isn't done shrinking yet. It seems radiation can still be working for another month and the tumor can shrink more, not be active cancer, or be active cancer ( this is an option we don't want). So, a month from now I get to have some scanziety all over again while awaiting PET scan results.

I'm still basically living on soup and I'm still tired of it, I want a bacon cheeseburger in the worst way...ahhh maybe next week.

No Results but Angels Among Us

Today I had a ct scan to find out if all the cancer is gone. What I didn't know is that if I had gone to the hospital for the test instead of the lab I could have the results now and be sharing them with you. Next time I'll know better. I'm not in any hurry to go back to the lab anyway since it took the nurse 3 tries before she could find a working vein ( ouch). Anyway that part is done and now I havwe to wait until Monday to see where we stand. With so much positive energy from all of you I don't know how I could get anything but good results. Not to mention the angel I met in Dunkin Donuts this AM after the scan.

Larry and I went to get some breakfast because I couldn't eat or drink anything before the scan. Iced tea was sounding very good to me about then. So we're on line and there's a woman in front of us and she turns around and looks at my bald head and says " I hope you don't mind my asking, are you in recovery?" I said "well I was just at the lab to find that out but I won't know for a few days." She said " I'm in recovery too, I think you're going to be fine." I said " thank you" . Anyway we order our things and the only table is next to this woman , so I sit next to her and she says " I hope I didn't bother you mentioning cancer but I know miracles happen because they happened to me" I told her no it was fine, actually it's nice to meet people who have survived and are so positive. She said " I was given 6 months to live 3 years ago, I have leukemia." I told her about my cancer and how lucky I was it hadn't spread and she said : "All I can say to you is miracles happen " and she asked my first name . She said she would pray for me and she wouldn't forget because I was going to be OK.

So I'm sitting in the darn Dunkin Donuts crying my eyes out knowing that she wasn't just a cancer survivor but someone sent to make me feel better when I was so stressed about the test and what the future is going to hold. God does funny things sometimes, gotta love him!

BTW the angel in the pic is one I made I call her Pearl E. Gates, she's made to make people smile.

Scanziety

Next week I'm scheduled to have the CT Scan that will tell us if my treatment was successful and the tumor is gone. I don't mind saying I'm pretty scared. They tell me the odds are good that the treatment worked and I'll be tumor free, but until I hear it for myself I'm going to be shaky for sure.

Anyway again I'm asking for good thoughts, prayers ,vibes, thoughts and anything else you can muster up that the results will be good and I can think about starting preventative care. Which involves more radiation but not as intense as before.

Update on the 2 cats. They chase each other around the house and hiss alot but they seem to enjoy it, mostly they drive my Mom crazy.

I still can't eat solid food, I get frustrated but there dosen't seem to be anything I can do until the nerves heal. I got a pill stuck in my throat yesterday and had to call the Dr. to find out what to do. Gotta love the country Dr. he said eat a wad of bread and take a drink of milk and if it dosen't work come in. It worked, now I'm just sore from all the coughing.

Winter is fast approaching here, there's been frost on the car a couple of mornings. This was the year I was going to get a car starter so I didn't have to run through the snow to start the car but medical bills used up that little stash of cash, I'm glad I had it put aside even if I didn't use it for a car starter. I've been fortunate to have pretty decent medical coverage so if I had to spend a few unplanned dollars it's OK.

Rex is growing like a weed and I wish I could spend more time with him, maybe that dream will come true before too long, we never know whwat the future might bring.

Well I hope my next message is full of good news, I have faith that what's supposed to happen will happen.

Please keep the good thoughts coming.