Hair We Go Again

Well my hair is falling out again. They told me this would happen but I was hoping they were wrong, guess not. The thing that had me puzzled for a few days was why I was so upset about it . The last time it fell out during chemo this summer I basically shrugged and went about my business. This time it has me a bit crazy. Then last night I figured it out, the first time it fell out I was dealing with just finding out I had cancer, chemo therapy, and radiation this time I'm dealing with some light weight radiation ( still kicks my butt and makes me want to sleep) and that's all. This time my hair falling out is a big deal because it can be. Also it was growing in a really funky kind of way that I was getting to like alot.

I don't know if I'll be totally bald, I wasn't after chemo, I had some peach fuzz left. I hope I do now too because I think I look better with fuzzy than shiny.

I know some of you are thinking "but Sue you have your cranial prosthetic device ( wig) Why not wear that?" Well I have a few reasons, one being I've never worn it yet so I can't exactly make a gradual change, another being I just think it's fake, it's a nice wig but for someone like me who has never even worn blush every day I can't imagine putting on my fake hair, it's just not me.

Also no hair is the summer is alot better than no hair in NNY in January ( just sayin').

I have 4 more radiation appointments left and then I'm done...hummm, then what? I've been doing this so long I think I'm going to feel a bit lost when it's all over. Well not totally over, I go back to the oncologist in the beginning of February, I don't know if they're going to do any tests or just say hello. The hard part is thinking if they're going to do more tests what will the results be, but again this isn't anything I have any control over so I just have to stay positive and realize that this is now part of my life and I can't let it stop me from living a happy and peaceful life.

They tell me I'll be feeling the effects of this bout of radiation for several months, just like last time because the radiation is in my system that long. Thankfully so far I haven had any horrible side effects, just the hair loss and a bit of memory loss ( people are kind about finishing sentences for me) and of course the ever present tired feeling ( naps are gifts from God). So I guess by summer all things going well, I should just about be back to me ( notice I didn't say normal).

Speaking of naps I think I feel one calling my name. :)