What a week ! So Tomorrow Results

So my week started last week with my 3 month CT scan ( nerves galore), I 'll get the results tomorrow. Any of you with higher connections are asked to put in a few good words with the higher powers and lets have "no evidence of disease" again!

So what's with the knee brace Sue? Well lately I've been having problems with my knees and legs sort of feeling like jelly. Only the last week or so but it's no fun. I'm told it coud be stress or some side effect of the radiation finally workig it's way out of my body. Either way ; and I haven't checked with the Dr yet because frankly I'm sick of being sick in one way or another ( I also had a Upper GI this week cause they think I might have an ulcer) ( I'm thinking stress). So anyway I fell in the bathtub and messed up my knee ( on top of the weak knee thing) So I haven't exactly been moving well this week. ( close your eyes if you don't want to read this part) but my main problem was getting up and down to the toilet. The handicapp stall at work just has a rail to hold on to but it isn't any higher than normal. Trust me when your knees don't work anything low to the floor is horror! So I ended up buying a seat raiser and I take it with me when I need to go ( what fun!) Thank goodness we have hight profile toilets in my house!

Also on Tuesday is my big fund raiser for the year and I've missed so much work with bad, stomach, knees etc I feel totally behind even though I know the folks in my office have more than covered my absence. I feel awful though because I feel like I'm being a slacker. Then my boss told me last week, Sue it's not you keeping you home it's the effects of the cancer treatment. That made me fee a bit better. She can be wise.

I also have to remember that regardless of what they say tomorrow I'm going to walk out of that Dr.s office with the future ahead of me and fight ( if I need it) ready to go.

I've been engaging in alot of self pity lately, I don't know why and I hate it. At one time in my life when I was feeling "pitiful" I thought about selling Pity Parade Kits complete with black confetti, a CD of funeral dirges and some folks who'd walk with you and say "there, there" then I thouhgt I'd do beter with the Butt Kicker Parade with baloons, happy music and some folks saying " get it together and stop feeling sorry for yourself." If I'd had one of those kits I could have used this week for sure.