Emmy where are you?

My cat ran away this week. She didn't just scoot out a door that was open, she actually ripped a window covering off a basement window and took off. I loved that cat. People tell me she may come back but I have to think if she was going to she'd be back when it's below freezing outside. Anyway, another loss to deal with... I'm tired. ( on a side note my 84 yr old mother was sure she'd found Emmy, dead in the yard and it turned out to be a pile of potting soil that had been there all summer..this is my life )

I think I'm going through some kind of PTSD because I've been very emotional lately. I'm in that"what now?" stage of treatment . At the beginning everyone is in a huge hurry to get treatment started and offer help and the Drs. all have their bit to say. Then treatment begins and you feel well and then you feel sick and then you feel well and it's a roller coaster of symptoms good, bad and otherwise. It's radiation everyday so there are people to talk to who understand what you're going through, whether professionals or patients and then one day it all stops.

I refer to this time as cancer limbo because I'm not undergoing treatment although I'm still dealing with some pretty nasty side effects. I don't how how successful the treatment has been and I won't for another month or more, so here I am. I have to say I feel a bit lost.

Next week I'm going back to work, I'm a bit nervous about this too, not because I don't want to, I really do, but because of my side effects that still haunt me when least expected. I'm trying to find a way to keep them at bay for the 3 1/2 hours I'll be at work. Maybe if my mind is occupied with other things they'll go away, I can only hope so.

So now I have to decide if I'll get another cat, I probably will and if Emmy should come back ( hope springs eternal) they'll just have to get along.