Hospital? You're Kidding!

Nope no kidding kids I'm in the hospital, have been since Monday. I was trying to leave the house to get to radiation and took a nasty fall. I got my first ambulance ride! If you've been following the blog you know my legs were getting worse as a result of the radiation ( seems they never know if you'll go from bad to worse to good again or in what order.) So, right now my legs from the knees down are basically just there for looks because it's like trying to stand on a vat of marshmellows ya just sort of sink. So,in a effort to try and help me walk again I'll be here doing rehab. I haven't been in the hospital since Chris was born, things have changed. Well you still have to pay by the day for TV but you get more channels. Food is ineresting, you get this menu and you call them up and telll them what you want and they deliver it. Not too awful either. I'm not sure when they decided to hire the youngest and skinniest young ladies to work here but sometimes I feel like I'm treated by the Justin Bieber fan club. They are a great bunch of people but I have to say they make me feel OLD. It's not clear why I'm having the trouble I'm having, I think it's sort of tumor pressure on my spine, some lumbar problems and a list of other things that made my eyes glaze over and stop lstening ( i know not clever). I just want rebhab to kick my butt so I can get going again ( btw yes they still make bed pans although plastic now)) ( i know TMI). Also,nurses don't wear white anymore, it seems ( i think a very bright srubs company has taken over the "cheery medicalwear" market up here, every day it's like Carnivale in the halls.......someone needs to address the color combinations though. It's like being in that parrot house in Disney world. Nevertheless, bright or dull colors the staff are all awesome folks who sincerely care. (nope not pain meds talking but they're awesome.) just some shout outs to good people. Anyway I will keep you up to date best I can, you can also talk to Mom (*disclaimer: she may not understand the whole story so it mght be confusing, then try Chris or just ask me. ) Right now I could use some, prayer, positive thought power to get me to the right rehab facility, the insurance co is being a pain..so any help is appreciated.So I kicked cancer once lets get get me some feet so I can do it again!

Easter, Passover, Spring, Healing

So I have completed a week of radiation to my spine. No changes yet but no more deterioration either so we're holding steady. Basically I can just get around the house with the walker ( slowly) and then take what's in my mind the death defying trip to the car so I can get to the hospital every day. Needless to say I'm frustrated and scared ( what if it dosen't work?) but i need to just keep going and having faith that all will be well and I'll be back on my feet soon. They've also given me steroids that make me cry for no apparent reason...good release but annoying too.
Also this week, Rex caught chicken pox and it was recomended that we not be together because I could get shingles because of my lowered immune system....so no family Easter celebration for awhile.
Anyway that's the latest update, now i get a couple of days off adn go back to radiation on Monday.
I wish you all a Happy Easter, Happy Passover, joyous spring and ask that you keep me in your thoughts so I can do the happy dance that i've beaten this crazy thing once more with feeling.

Joy to All
Sue

Round 2 in the Cancer Fight Begins

So those of you who follow my ramblings ( thank you) will have noticed that I've had trouble with my legs lately so I had some tests done to see what was going on and the answer I got wasn't a great one. OK well the good news there is no cancer in my brain, the not so good news is there is a spot near my spine which is what thas been causing my walking problems.

I found this out wheen my oncologist's office called at 9 am yesterday morning and gave me the news. Karen the PA seemed concerned but also very positive about this being something that we can get rid of and get me walking again. I frankly was just relieved to find out what was going on. She told me that I would need radiation again and that the radiation oncologist would meet me at his office at 10am even though it was his day off. So off I went to see Dr. Deblasio and my buddies at the cancer center. He told me pretty much the same thing Karen had and told me I have to take prednisone for the swelling and I'll be having radiation evey day for at leaast 3 weeks and we were starting it right then and he wanted me to come in today even though they usually dont't do treatments on Saturday. This time I get to lay on my stomach, this is a new experience,to have my butt radiated :).I have to comment on these folks at the center they are always helpful never condescending and with a sense of humor too.

So the other problem that needed to be resolved is that I can't climb stairs right now. Those of you who've been here know all the bedrooms are on the second floor and there is very little privacy. But we do have a back porch/ mudd room kind of thing at the back of the house which is now my world. Chris came up yesterday and he and Larry made me a nice little world. Only thng is all my sewing things are upstairs all my eBay stuff is upstairs etc so it's goin to be interesting. Right now I'm looking for a room divider screen so folks coming in the back door don't catch me taking a nap or just getting up( even though radiation is every morning). So if anyone out there knows of one I can borrow or buy let me know, apparently there isn't one to be purchased up here.

And so we begin round 2 in my fight with this disease, I'm ready, here we go again, I won before and I will win again. the PET scan for my adrenal gland will be delayed a month or more while we deal with this .

This may sounds strange but I'm grateful that I've been going to the oncologist and they ordered this test. If I had just been going to my regular Dr. he probably would have sent me to a neurologist or orthopedist and the last thing they would have thought of would be cancer which means it could have been weeks before this was identified. So even thoug it's not good news it is timely and it gives me a better chance of beating this too.

So off I go to but on my cancer fighting uniform and I will keep you all informed. All good thoughts are greatly appreciated and in my opinion have brought me miracles in the past.

It was almost this time of year i was diagnosed the first timee....maybe spring and I don't like each other.

MRI and Frank

So yesterday I had my brain and spine MRIs, it took about an hour and a half of being in this long tube and listeningto it bump and twirl. The only good thing was they have head phones and the person in charge didn't even ask he just put on some Sinatra ( guess I looked an OK age for it). It actually made the 1 1/2 hours bearable.

I'm still not moving well, having more and more trouble getting up the stairs and being more and more afraid of going anywhere without the walker. It's depressing being my age and needing a walker but I keep telling my self that this too will pass and I'll feel my legs again soon. I mean I beat cancer I have to beat this. Only thing is cancer didn't make me fall down alot . The common thing but I'm sure not remotely related is the nausea and intestinal issues. When you can"t move very fast these are no fun, at least with chemo I could run if I had to.

I'm not supposed to get the results for another week and a half but I called today to see if that could happen faster, I think the sooner I find out what the heck is going on the sooner I fix it. Haven't heard from them yet.

I've been doing some office work from home, I'm glad to have something to do and so grateful that they will let me. It's no fun though having no one to interact with, but it's better than just doing nothing. At least sitting at the computer is pretty safe, I can't fall down .

So that's what this week brings, still scared, annoyed and frustrated with this latest ailment but I'm still pushing along as best I can. Next week I get a PET scan of my adrenal glands, I don't think the PET machine has headphones, darn I would have asked for James Taylor.

Step by Step

So the awesome news is theres NO LUNG CANCER detected YAY. Then there the other things. It seems I have a spot on one of my adrenal glands, they don't seem concerned but I'm having another PET scan anyway.

I know I've mentioned I've been having trouble with my legs, they turn to rubber and then I'm off balance. My knees are not happy campers so I have to sit on things that are pretty high ( you'll recall the toilet seat). Anyway they think my brain may be swollen as a result of the radiation and that might be cauing the leg problems. So I get to have an MRI ( uch) of my brain and one of my lower back to see what's happening. It's a creepy feling when your legs turn into jelly under you. I've been using a cane and I'll keep doing that so I don't end up on my butt.

Pasta for CASA was yesterday, I think it was a great success, I haven't heard the #'s yet but I think we did very well. On that subject I don't know what I would have done without all the great people who jumped in to help not ony on the day of but in these weeks before when I've been laid up. Actually I think they did a much better job than I could have this year because I've been so health preoccupied.

One of the results of al the health issues and the stress of the the past months is now I cry at the drop of a hat . Those of you who've known me forever know this is not my way, I'm not a weeper. Well apparently something chemical or emothional has turned me into a waterworks girl ( I HATE THIS). It's just so not my way and then I feel sooooo stupid. Hopefully this too will pass as the radiation works it's way out of my system.

Anyway let's concerntrate on the good news because no lung cancer found is awesome and the other problems wil be dealth with in time and fogotten, or I'll be designing an awesome line of canes!

What a week ! So Tomorrow Results

So my week started last week with my 3 month CT scan ( nerves galore), I 'll get the results tomorrow. Any of you with higher connections are asked to put in a few good words with the higher powers and lets have "no evidence of disease" again!

So what's with the knee brace Sue? Well lately I've been having problems with my knees and legs sort of feeling like jelly. Only the last week or so but it's no fun. I'm told it coud be stress or some side effect of the radiation finally workig it's way out of my body. Either way ; and I haven't checked with the Dr yet because frankly I'm sick of being sick in one way or another ( I also had a Upper GI this week cause they think I might have an ulcer) ( I'm thinking stress). So anyway I fell in the bathtub and messed up my knee ( on top of the weak knee thing) So I haven't exactly been moving well this week. ( close your eyes if you don't want to read this part) but my main problem was getting up and down to the toilet. The handicapp stall at work just has a rail to hold on to but it isn't any higher than normal. Trust me when your knees don't work anything low to the floor is horror! So I ended up buying a seat raiser and I take it with me when I need to go ( what fun!) Thank goodness we have hight profile toilets in my house!

Also on Tuesday is my big fund raiser for the year and I've missed so much work with bad, stomach, knees etc I feel totally behind even though I know the folks in my office have more than covered my absence. I feel awful though because I feel like I'm being a slacker. Then my boss told me last week, Sue it's not you keeping you home it's the effects of the cancer treatment. That made me fee a bit better. She can be wise.

I also have to remember that regardless of what they say tomorrow I'm going to walk out of that Dr.s office with the future ahead of me and fight ( if I need it) ready to go.

I've been engaging in alot of self pity lately, I don't know why and I hate it. At one time in my life when I was feeling "pitiful" I thought about selling Pity Parade Kits complete with black confetti, a CD of funeral dirges and some folks who'd walk with you and say "there, there" then I thouhgt I'd do beter with the Butt Kicker Parade with baloons, happy music and some folks saying " get it together and stop feeling sorry for yourself." If I'd had one of those kits I could have used this week for sure.