Hi Ho Hi Ho It's Back to Work I Go

Last Monday I started back to work part time. I'll admit I was a bit nervous as to whether I could manage it but I think it went pretty well. I went home most afternoons and took a little nap and that seemed to do the trick. Also B12 shots from my Dr. probably don't hurt. I was greeted by a big bouquet of balloons and that definitely made my first day back joyful.

My new kitten has turned into being terror kitty. she has no sense of caution and will "attack" anything, climb everything and run at top speed through the house for reasons only she knows. Poor Emmy, she mostly hisses and growls and this little devil of a Daisy won't even back up.

Yesterday Rexton was baptised in the Brownville Methodist church across the street from my house. This is the church that Chris grew up in so the folks there were happy to see him and thrilled to meet Rex. Rex was a great little trooper laughing and smiling at everyone and even smiling when the water crossed his head. It was almost as if he knew the celebration was for him! I wish they lived closer so I could spend more time with him.

As for me, things are pretty much the same, I still can't swallow whole food and I don't mind saying I'm getting damn sick and tired of soup, I'm trying to add a few soft things but that all depends on how my stomach will accept them as well. I'm still having bouts of random nausea. If I knew what was causing them I'd sure as heck stop whatever it was. They tell me this will all go away but no one seems to want to make an estimate as to when. The only answer I get is " it varys" ugh.

Anyway that's how things are going here, I hoe you all are doing well and getting ready for the holidays, hopefully I'll be able to eat by then.

Emmy, meet Daisy

Imagine my surprise this morning when I woke up and heard 2 cats meowing at the top of their lungs! Actually once cat and one kitten. Daisy the new kid in town is shut in the sewing room at night ( with a litter box, food and water and a light on) so I knew where she was, but when I hit the bottom of the stairs on my way to the kitchen for my morning tea, low and behold there was Emmy!

Emmy was telling my all about her 10 day adventure which she looked no worse for the wear ( what happens in kitty land stays in kitty land I guess). It's been over an hour and she still really hasn't stopped except to take a very brief nap on my bed and growl at Daisy who has been sent back to the sewing room for now and isn't very happy about it.

Ahhh peace at the moment, they both must be gearing up for a new verbal assault. I've never had 2 cats before, I have to believe once they get used to each other it'll be OK but what do I do in the meantime? The first thing I'm going to do it close up Miss Emmy's escape hatch, although I'm glad I left it open for as long as I did or she wouldn't have gotten back in. Then we have to close up the route to the escape hatch, then I can open the basemenet again because that's Emmy's fave place ( figures for a black cat). I haven't let Daisy downstairs yet because she's too little for all the places a kitty can get stuck down there, we got Emmy full grown so she didn't have that problem. Maybe one will reign over the upstairs and one will reign the downstairs..OY. BTW my mother is not pleased we now have 2 cats, oh well it'll give her something to talk to her friends about on the phone for a week or two.

All this and I start back to work on Monday, it never rains but it pours in my life guess that's what keeps me crazy and happy.

What a nice surprise!

As most of you know the town I live in doesn't deliver the mail. You have to go to the Post Office to pick it up every day. So the post office is like the social hub of Brownville, people meet and share their lives daily. I see a lot of the post master because I'm always picking up mail that didn't fit in the box for my mother ( she is legend for so much mail). We get to chatting about our lives and such and become friends. I've been especially close to the current post master and her predecessor for various reasons. It's an odd , once a day kind of relationship but it works. Today when I went in to buy some stamps, Rebecca the current post master handed me a box that said to Sue from Rebecca and Donna, we hope you're feeling better.

I was flabbergasted when I opened this box and found this beautiful quilt that has Bible verses sewn through it. Each verse is printed on it's own square and they are joined with beautiful fabrics. It was made by the Pulaski Comfort Quilters from the Pulaski Wesleyan Church. I'll admit I misted up a bit, I never would have thought that these two ladies that I see so briefly every day would have thought of me so kindly. It is a gift I will cherish forever and I'm planning on finding a wall to hang it on in the very near future.

Emmy where are you?

My cat ran away this week. She didn't just scoot out a door that was open, she actually ripped a window covering off a basement window and took off. I loved that cat. People tell me she may come back but I have to think if she was going to she'd be back when it's below freezing outside. Anyway, another loss to deal with... I'm tired. ( on a side note my 84 yr old mother was sure she'd found Emmy, dead in the yard and it turned out to be a pile of potting soil that had been there all summer..this is my life )

I think I'm going through some kind of PTSD because I've been very emotional lately. I'm in that"what now?" stage of treatment . At the beginning everyone is in a huge hurry to get treatment started and offer help and the Drs. all have their bit to say. Then treatment begins and you feel well and then you feel sick and then you feel well and it's a roller coaster of symptoms good, bad and otherwise. It's radiation everyday so there are people to talk to who understand what you're going through, whether professionals or patients and then one day it all stops.

I refer to this time as cancer limbo because I'm not undergoing treatment although I'm still dealing with some pretty nasty side effects. I don't how how successful the treatment has been and I won't for another month or more, so here I am. I have to say I feel a bit lost.

Next week I'm going back to work, I'm a bit nervous about this too, not because I don't want to, I really do, but because of my side effects that still haunt me when least expected. I'm trying to find a way to keep them at bay for the 3 1/2 hours I'll be at work. Maybe if my mind is occupied with other things they'll go away, I can only hope so.

So now I have to decide if I'll get another cat, I probably will and if Emmy should come back ( hope springs eternal) they'll just have to get along.

As Time Goes By

My dear friend Diane passed away on Sunday. It seems like just yesterday that we were freshmen room mates at Luther College , our first time away from home, trying to act brave and "cool". Who'd have thought that September day over 30 years ago would lead me to this September day. I will miss her, there are memories that only we shared like our madcap trip across country to attend college in Nebraska, and twisting pretzles on a hot summer afternoon in Kutztown, PA. These things seem so long ago and yet not. Rest well my friend.
I found out this week that my radiation treatments will be done next week. I only have 6 to go and then maybe my body can start to heal and I can get closer to the long wanted bacon cheeseburger. This may sound crazy but I'm going to miss going there everyday. It's been a place of security, where folks knew what I was going through and were there to help if I needed it. I think I'm going to feel a bit abandoned for awhile. It won't be long though and I'll be back talking about what we do next. Preventative measures will start in a couple of months.
I'm hoping to go back to work soon too, it'll be good to replace one routine with another and this routine is definately less frightening. My only concern is that I still get so tired very quickly but I'll only be working part time and once I get on a schedule that should help alot.
My grandson is going to be baptized this Sunday, the kids are doing it here in the church that Chris grew up in across that street from our house. Wow I remember taking him to Sunday school when he was just a tot and now Rex will be part of that church family.
Many people have told me that think I should publish this blog. I would like to, with added comments as I look back. I have no clue about publishing except for self publishing and I think this would be too big a project for that. I want to share these thoughts with folks who are going through the same thing and also with the people around them. I've found comfort in sharing my thoughts and I hope I can help others. So if any of you know anyone who knows something about publishing or who might send me in the right direction please let me know. I know the story isn't over but I'd like to get a start on putting it together.

Value Your Friends

I got some very sad news this morning. My college roommate Diane is now in a coma due to complications from colon/liver cancer. She has been fighting this diagnosis for the past 4 years and it appears that the Drs. don't think she'll awake from her coma. Trixie , as I 've always called her is a person who exemplifies what " good people" means. Without her around I wouldn't know what 1/2 of our former classmates were up to, I wouldn't have 10 stories in a book I put together for the program I run and I'd never know how to twist a soft pretzel.

So here I am fighting cancer myself and hearing that my dear friend could be losing her battle...this totally stinks! I was selfishly looking forward to the day when we could sit on a porch somplace with a tall cool drink and swap "war" stories, now they're telling me this may never happen. Dammit!!

I know we all get involved in our own daily lives , work, family , whatever but our friends are the family we pick for ourselves so please let them know you love them and value them even when things are going well . It's never too soon to have that tall glass of something and talk about your lives even if they aren't as close as they once were.

Time Flies

Monday I went back to the Dr. to have him decide if I should restart radiation or wait awhile. He explained to me that with the type of cancer I have, treatment is time sensitive and if we wait too long between treatments it's like losing weeks of treatment. We decided it was beneficial to start again so we did. He said at the time I have 7 or 11 treatments left depending on how burned my skin is after 7. He may decided enough is enough and end treatment there or continue for the last 4. I'll know this next week sometime.

In the mean time I'm still having tummy issues from tech chemotherapy that ended 3 weeks ago. I had no idea this poison could hang around in your system causing chaos for so long. The tech at radiation told me it could go on for awhile yet. I have to say this past weekend was one of the lowest points in my treatment because I was burned, can't swallow anything but liquid and anything I did swallow didn't stay with me for long. I decided I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. But then I reminded myself that this part is almost over and it's only another week or so of treatment, and with every day that goes by I'm closer to getting back to "normal". And, what a good time I'm going to have eating my way across Watertown when I can eat something besides soup again !

Also I've been very concerned about my job and not being there and what was going to happen in the future. I went in and spoke with the director last week and I think we've come up with a plan that will allow me to work half time and the center is going to hire someone else to work half time. That way I can keep doing what I like but I won't be over doing it and the program won't suffer either. This takes a lot of stress away from me right now and I appreciate the way we were able to come to a solution that is good for everyone. Hopefully I'll be back to work no later than mid-October.

Have I mentioned my amazingly adorable grandson yet? No ? Well he is now almost 6 months old and is sitting up and eating oatmeal and all manner of veggies and he is the light of my life !

So it looks like we're coming to the end of this chapter anyway. In the future the Drs and I will be talking abot preventative measures like brain radiation ( Ugh scary) but that'll be after we've retested to find out if this treatment plan has been successful and that nasty tumor has hit the road. We probably won't know that til November some time so keep the prayers and positive energy coming !!

Stay tuned for the update as to when I'll be done cooking in the radiation room !