Time Flies

Monday I went back to the Dr. to have him decide if I should restart radiation or wait awhile. He explained to me that with the type of cancer I have, treatment is time sensitive and if we wait too long between treatments it's like losing weeks of treatment. We decided it was beneficial to start again so we did. He said at the time I have 7 or 11 treatments left depending on how burned my skin is after 7. He may decided enough is enough and end treatment there or continue for the last 4. I'll know this next week sometime.

In the mean time I'm still having tummy issues from tech chemotherapy that ended 3 weeks ago. I had no idea this poison could hang around in your system causing chaos for so long. The tech at radiation told me it could go on for awhile yet. I have to say this past weekend was one of the lowest points in my treatment because I was burned, can't swallow anything but liquid and anything I did swallow didn't stay with me for long. I decided I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. But then I reminded myself that this part is almost over and it's only another week or so of treatment, and with every day that goes by I'm closer to getting back to "normal". And, what a good time I'm going to have eating my way across Watertown when I can eat something besides soup again !

Also I've been very concerned about my job and not being there and what was going to happen in the future. I went in and spoke with the director last week and I think we've come up with a plan that will allow me to work half time and the center is going to hire someone else to work half time. That way I can keep doing what I like but I won't be over doing it and the program won't suffer either. This takes a lot of stress away from me right now and I appreciate the way we were able to come to a solution that is good for everyone. Hopefully I'll be back to work no later than mid-October.

Have I mentioned my amazingly adorable grandson yet? No ? Well he is now almost 6 months old and is sitting up and eating oatmeal and all manner of veggies and he is the light of my life !

So it looks like we're coming to the end of this chapter anyway. In the future the Drs and I will be talking abot preventative measures like brain radiation ( Ugh scary) but that'll be after we've retested to find out if this treatment plan has been successful and that nasty tumor has hit the road. We probably won't know that til November some time so keep the prayers and positive energy coming !!

Stay tuned for the update as to when I'll be done cooking in the radiation room !

Yay for Friday

Well I made it through a week of chemo AND radiation, a challenge but done!

I've slept a lot this week, not only because of the insane fatigue but also the queasy feeling the chemo gives me. To me tired and queasy = sleep. It was also very hot and humid up here this week so there really was no place for me to be but in my room in the A/C . Today is beautiful, much cooler and less humid.

Those of you who know my mother know she's obsessed with food, not so much eating it as feeding it to other people. The standard joke is that her tombstone is going to say "what can I get you?". Anyway, the fact that I'm borderline sick to my stomach for 4 or 5 days every time I have chemo is a huge issue for her because I have no idea what I'm going to be able to tolerate from one day to the next. Today a friend of mine took her to the grocery store and before they left she asked me ( just back from chemo and radiation) what I wanted her to get for me. I said " I have no idea" and her response was " can't you just make believe you're not sick to your stomach for a minute and give me an idea?" OY!

I know it can't be easy living with someone who feels yucky a lot of the time and I do try to stay out of every one's way when I'm really feeling icky. I also know it's scary to have someone you love have a disease like cancer and you want to help and you don't know what to do, as someone who's been on both sides of the issue all I can say is neither side is any fun. Having said that though I've learned that if you let it, the disease can consume your daily life. I try very hard not to let this happen, and if I feel myself sliding down that slope I quickly kick myself in the butt and set myself straight.

When I was first diagnosed of course I was scared and angry and all those things but I also didn't have any sense that life goes on anyway. I thought "oh I have cancer, life as we know it will now stop" well it doesn't and it won't and that's a good thing because that's what keeps me going everyday.

So now I get the weekend off before I start radiation again on Monday, my stomach should be back in shape in the next day or so and I can enjoy the cooler weather and let my Mother cook me dinner.

Chemo,Radiation and a Nap

Today I started round 3 of chemo and 6 weeks of radiation. As always day 1 of the chemo round was 3 hours long ( the others are an hour) and I got to do the IV pole dance again although today I didn't have any partners so it was a solo act. As soon as I finished there we took off over to the cancer center at the hospital for radiation. They were backed up so what should have been 15 minutes took about 45. No big deal, they have a very nice waiting room.

I know I mentioned that I was supposed to get my tattoos today but I didn't because they were running behind ( translation , in 5 minutes it's lunch time). So we'll do that tomorrow , or so they say.

I never realized that having cancer could cause such bathing issues. I' m person who loves her showers and baths and since they've marked me for radiation and put these little plastic stickers on me I've had to just "rinse" because there are magic marker marks that need to stay there too. I've been afraid to take a nice bubble bath because I have this fear of seeing the little plastic things floating by. There are only 2 that would actually be submerged but for all I know those are the most important 2.

Then today they put in the port for the chemo ( under that huge mound of gauze), that stays in all 3 days, it's in the back of my left hand. I can't get that wet either ( note Eeyore watch, I love Eeyore). The last 2 times I used a glove from some hair coloring I had since I don't have any hair to color right now but I'm out of those. I'll ask for a couple of gloves at chemo tomorrow. So I guess tomorrow morning I'm just gonna "rinse" with my left hand sticking out of the shower curtain. Hmm maybe there's another old box of hair color in that cabinet.

When I got home I had some lunch ( I try to eat decent meals before the chemo gets around to turning my stomach upside down) and then it was nap time. I remember how Chris used to fight nap time when he was little, eventually I gave up forcing the issue and I'd inevitably find him sleeping someplace like on the living room floor. I, on the other hand, have come to like nap time because it literally gets me through the day. If I didn't come up here to my room and stretch out in the air conditioning I'd probably just fall asleep in a chair someplace and wake up a sore mess. Pretty soon I'll have to tell my grandson Rex that nap time is a good thing. Maybe he'll listen to his crazy grandma :).

Anyway, day 1 of radiation done, only 30 something more to go, hopefully I'll have my tattoos before it's over so I can really take a shower!

The Calm Before the Storm

This has been a pretty quiet week. Just a couple of appointments and some paperwork.

Today I went to have my "dry run" and the radiology center. This is when they make sure all the rays and pointed towards the right places. The techs were very nice and told me I'll get my tattoos next week. Up until a couple of days ago I had no idea that these plastic circles with permanent marker under them were going to turn into tattoos. This is so I can bathe ( good plan) while undergoing radiation and not erase the all important marks. I checked into how they do these tattoos, I had visions of the guys from LA Ink showing up , but that's not the way it's done. Apparently the skin is broken a bit and then some India ink is added and you get a fake wrong colored freckle. All I can relate it to is when I was in 8th grade and I had to get vaccinated and the Dr. scraped my arm and then put the medicine in it and it got a huge scab on it but I didn't feel badly because everyone had one as it was part of the High School physical procedure. Well anyway they tell me they're permanent and hardly noticeable and it's recommended that you don't get them removed just in case you need to be radiated again someday because I guess the can't radiate the same spots twice. Maybe when it's all over I'll have them connected ( connect the dots la la la la ) OK probably not.

So on Tuesday we start the chemo - radiation combo pack, on Tues-Thurs I have chemo and then go straight to radiation, then I have 2 weeks with just radiation, then we do the chemo-radiation thing again. If I said I wasn't a bit nervous about this I'd be lying, but I also have to work hard to keep a positive attitude and think of those radiation beams as life saving beams of light.

Speaking of chemo, they gave me this prescription for pills to take on chemo days to help keep nausea away. So before I start chemo I go and get this 3 pack of pills, one for every day. I have insurance so I've been paying my usual co-pay for these pills and not thinking anything of it. Then the other day just by chance I looked at the paper that came with them from the pharmacy...are you ready? 3 pills= 353.00. What the heck are they made of ,gold? This then freaked me out because I have a 3,000.00 yearly cap on my rx insurance. I have a feeling we'll have blown through that before long. I'm telling you for 115.00 plus a pill they should walk to your house introduce themselves, promise that you will never feel the least bit queasy again in your lifetime and then side down your throat while singing " On Top of Spaghetti". And the drug companies have the nerve to complain..ugh. I live 20 miles from Canada they're probably sold over the counter up there.

Anyway that's been my week so far, I can actually taste food this week so I think I'll go out for a nice dinner, heaven knows once the radiation/chemo thing starts there's no way to tell how things will taste.

Oh yes one more thing, I have to tell you that if you use a thermal mug for anything hot or cold like coffee in the AM or whatever in the PM the best ones I have ever used are made by Contigo. Margie bough me a couple from QVC and I was a total skeptic ( who me?) but I have to say ,you can turn one of these things upside down in your tote bag and it won't spill and it keeps coffee hot almost all day and ice cubes will still be there in the morning ( I use it for my bedside because I wake up with a dry mouth a lot at night). So now I feel like Oprah but I can't afford to send you all one, although I wish I could :)