Yay for Friday

Well I made it through a week of chemo AND radiation, a challenge but done!

I've slept a lot this week, not only because of the insane fatigue but also the queasy feeling the chemo gives me. To me tired and queasy = sleep. It was also very hot and humid up here this week so there really was no place for me to be but in my room in the A/C . Today is beautiful, much cooler and less humid.

Those of you who know my mother know she's obsessed with food, not so much eating it as feeding it to other people. The standard joke is that her tombstone is going to say "what can I get you?". Anyway, the fact that I'm borderline sick to my stomach for 4 or 5 days every time I have chemo is a huge issue for her because I have no idea what I'm going to be able to tolerate from one day to the next. Today a friend of mine took her to the grocery store and before they left she asked me ( just back from chemo and radiation) what I wanted her to get for me. I said " I have no idea" and her response was " can't you just make believe you're not sick to your stomach for a minute and give me an idea?" OY!

I know it can't be easy living with someone who feels yucky a lot of the time and I do try to stay out of every one's way when I'm really feeling icky. I also know it's scary to have someone you love have a disease like cancer and you want to help and you don't know what to do, as someone who's been on both sides of the issue all I can say is neither side is any fun. Having said that though I've learned that if you let it, the disease can consume your daily life. I try very hard not to let this happen, and if I feel myself sliding down that slope I quickly kick myself in the butt and set myself straight.

When I was first diagnosed of course I was scared and angry and all those things but I also didn't have any sense that life goes on anyway. I thought "oh I have cancer, life as we know it will now stop" well it doesn't and it won't and that's a good thing because that's what keeps me going everyday.

So now I get the weekend off before I start radiation again on Monday, my stomach should be back in shape in the next day or so and I can enjoy the cooler weather and let my Mother cook me dinner.