No More Chemo !

So today was my last chemotherapy appointment, all I can say is it's a darn good thing it was the last one and not the first one or I might never have gone back.

I guess part of the agony was my own fault ( or so they'd have me believe) because I let myself get dehydrated. I didn't know I was dehydrated but I guess I was supposed to know this when I was dizzy and queasy and ached like I had the flu. I thought they were just side effects from the new chemo drug. Also losing 7 lbs in just under a week should be a dead give away but I was just rejoicing in losing seven lbs..silly me.

Anyway the young woman who always takes my blood and knows my veins like her own had the nerve to go on vacation and leave me with a newbie who did a fine job but there was alot of searching for a vein involved why ? beacuse I let myself get dehydrated!

Next the RN who's put the chemo port in every time I've been there decided to let the new nurse on the block try and find a vein. 'My" nurse Donna always put the port in my left hand because she asked if I was right or left handed, new nurse didn't ask and proceeded to dig around in my right hand until I was almost in tears and Donna had to come and help her out anyway. Again my fault, I was dehydrated.

I still had to get the substitute drug because my ususal cocktail was still unavailable. This new drug dosen't have "side" effects" it has walk right up and slap you on the face effects that started before I ever left the Drs. office. Let me just say that these side effects can certaily make a person dehydrated within minutes.

So after about 4 hours I was done, done, done adn now I have a months worth of radiation to deal with and then we see how successful we were. I'm hoping for very!

So the dance of the IV poles has come to an end and no more ports in my hand for days at a time and in a week or so the side effects will fade away. Life is good.

This and That

First let me thank everyone for the birthday wishes I appreciate them all.

After a certain age I pretty much gave up on making a big deal about birthdays but considering the past few months, I was happy to see this one.

My birthday always means that autumn is close. I remember getting school supplies for my birthday most years when I was little. It's a good thing I was usually happier with come cool colored pencils than a doll anyway. Again thank you all for the good thoughts.

In an interesting development in the world of medicine it seems one of the chemotherapy drugs that I have been receiving is virtually unavailable across the country. I haven't been able to discover why this is but it seems to be a nation wide issue. So this week was supposed to be my last week of chemo but it turns out we had to go to plan B with a different drug. Normally I go 3 days in one week and then I'm off 2 weeks. This week I only went 1 day and now I have to go 1 day next week as well. But then I'm done with chemo YAY! This new drug brought a whole new list of side effects with it so I've been a bit queasy and even more tired. I 'm also having radiation every day.

Speaking of radiation, the folks there gave me a nice piece of cake for my B'day. They are a great bunch of peoople, I know I couldn't deal with what they deal with day after day and keep the positive attitude they have.

Here's hoping the the chemo and the radiation will have the desired effects and I'll be on the road to the next step in treatment which is maintenance and prevention.

I'm hoping to feel well enough tomorrow to go to a craft show up by the river. I haven't been anyplace but the Dr. and the occasional store for months so I'm looking forward to seeing some well made crafts and maybe doing some early Christmas shopping.

Well I think it's time for a nap, this new drug is knocking me out, I'm really glad I only have to deal with it one more time !

Top 10 OK Things About Having a REALLY Sore Throat

• In an effort to look on the bright side I've decided to put together a list of the top 10 OK things about having a radiated ( burnt) throat. If you'd like to add to the list feel free.

• 10. Something that feels this bad has to be working.
• 9. No more fast food, they can't hear me at the drive through and I can't swallow it anyway.
• 8. No more singing in the shower and having my "performance"reviewed by my mother. ( true story)
• 7. I'm learning how to eat slowly
• 6. I get to use the Ninja Pro super blender I couldn't live without and have used twice in a year.
• 5. I'll get the chance to try every one of the thousands of flavors of Yoplait. (German Chocolate Cake...really?)
• 4. It is currently impossible for me to "raise my voice" at anyone.
• 3. My cat thinks I am now the "Cat Whisperer" and she likes it.
• 2. I only have to shop 2 aisles in the grocery store
• and the number one reason having a really sore throat can be ok is:
• 1. I can eat ice cream for breakfast if I want to!

It's Going to be Quiet for Awhile

I have just completed week 3 of radiation, because of where my tumor is the radiation is burning my throat and the bottom of my esophagus. Ths makes eating an adventure in soft and or liquid food and I've pretty much lost my voice. They tell me things will stay this way until some weeks after I'm done with radiation which should put it sometime in early October.

This has been and I'm guessing will be one of the biggest challenges so far. There's just so many smoothies one can drink and ice pops one can eat before it all wears thin. Although speaking of thin I might lose a few pounds on this new diet.

I'm not quite sure I understand how some rays of light can make me exhausted most of the time and can make my skin in certain areas look like I've overdone the tanning bed thing but as they say in Cancerland " the cure can be worse than the cancer".

Next week I have to do chemo and radiation again, to be truthful I'm not looking forward to this but then anyone would be foolish to be looking forward to being squeamish for 5 or 6 days although this time I won't care if I eat or not so maybe it'll be OK.

I want to tell you about the woman who has become my "hero". Those of us who go to chemo and radiation frequently get to know each other. While waiting we chat with patients and spouses and the first question usually asked is " where did it get you?". There is this woman , probably my age, who has cancer of the sweat glands, I didn't even know you could get cancer in your sweat glands but apparently she had a primary cancer someplace else and then it moved to her sweat glands. She also walks with 2 canes because of some other problem she has. Well they have begun treating the glands on her forehead and her forhead looks like someone set it on fire and waited awhile to put it out. Many people would be avoiding going out in public because of this but not this lady. Several days a week she sits in the information booth at the hospital door and cheerfully directs people to the right place. I have to say whenever I've about had it with a sore throat and indigestion I just think of her and that's the kick in the butt I need to stay positive and on track.

Anyway if anyone has good smoothie recipes I'd be happy to try them, just a note I'm allergic to bananas and they seem to be in alot of smoothies. I'm ready to use my Ninja Pro blender thingy and make some good stuff!

Sweet Tea and Chemo Brain

Oddly enough sometimes I think going through chemotherapy is like being pregnant. Maybe it's because of the chemical changes in your body , or maybe not, all I know is I haven't had cravings for things like I do these days since I was pregnant. This week's love is sweet tea, I can't seem to get enough of it. Which is OK because dehydration is always a concern with radiation and chemo. Also it's way better than last week's craving which was steak fries with lots of salt.

I've also discovered that I can't make good sweet tea, I don't know why but mine is always bitter. Thankfully the Lipton company sells gallon jugs of the stuff.

This week was a just radiation week so a couple of days I combined my trip to the hospital with other errands I had to run. One morning I stopped to buy gas and I couldn't get the pump to read my card so I could pay outside so the attendant said I should pre-pay inside. I went inside and got distracted buying a bottle of ( you guessed it) sweet tea, paid for my gas and tea walked out of the store and drove away. When I got to the parking lot of my next stop a nice lady told me my gas cap was open...well of course it was because I left the gas station without ever pumping the gas! This is called chemo brain.

I had two stops to make before I could get back to the gas station ( a Dr.'s appt. and radiation) but I was lucky enough that when I did get back the same woman was still there and she recognized me ( probably hard to forget a large bald woman) and let me pump my gas.

Speaking of chemo brain, I'm down to one last series of chemo treatments and they will happen the week of my birthday, I have a feeling I won't be interested in any cake that day. My oncologists PA apologised and I said "hey if it means I get to have a birthday next year I can totally give this one over to treatment". She liked that, but really I'm very lucky.

Sue, you have lung cancer how can you think you're lucky? Well, yes I do have lung cancer but it hasn't spread anywhere else, so far the treatment while tiring and sometimes sickening hasn't been horrible and I have a great support system of friends, medical professionals and family, so how am I not lucky? I figure if I have to have cancer I did it right. I don't know what the future is going to bring but right now things are going well and that's all I can think about.

So, now I think it's time for some tea, and if anyone out there knows how to make not bitter sweet tea let me know :)

It's hot, it's cold...arghhhhhh

As I've mentioned, on Friday I finished a tough week of chemo and radiation. Still a bit chemo queasy I decided to just stay in my room and relax. I noticed that my room wasn't feeling very cool and I thought well maybe it was the radiation..it can sometimes make you feel over heated like when you get out of a tanning bed.

So I asked Larry and he said, it wasn't me, the room wasn't it's usual iceberg temperature. He looked at it and tried to blow the dust out of it and did whatever you're supposed to do to try and fix an A/C and declared it on it's way out.

So here was my problem, this was 7:00 on a Friday night and Larry was going to be away on Saturday so we had to figure out something pretty quickly. I should mention that since I've been going through the whole cancer thing the A/C is my life saver because it also keeps a lot of the pollen that I'm allergic to out of my already not so happy lungs.

So the question then became, buy a new one or switch from the sewing room ( as you may remember I waited for that one to get put in so I could actually be able to spend some time sewing). Well, we set my mother to one of the things she does best; making phone calls and soon found out that the warm weather had cleaned smaller room size A/Cs out of the general area but we could wait for the 10pm truck at Walmart if we wanted to.

Needless to say in the next few minutes we were pulling the one out of the sewing room and it was blissful! Until this AM when I noticed it making odd noises ( could this be why I replaced it with the one I had been using and this was still in the attic?). Well the crazy thing is a block of ice ( inside where the filter screen is). So now I'm waiting for it to thaw out and I guess we'll have to figure out why it's not draining or what ever it is they do to get rid of the water.

Hopefully we'll get this all figured out today before it gets really warm again....like that lady said : "It's always something!"

Yay for Friday

Well I made it through a week of chemo AND radiation, a challenge but done!

I've slept a lot this week, not only because of the insane fatigue but also the queasy feeling the chemo gives me. To me tired and queasy = sleep. It was also very hot and humid up here this week so there really was no place for me to be but in my room in the A/C . Today is beautiful, much cooler and less humid.

Those of you who know my mother know she's obsessed with food, not so much eating it as feeding it to other people. The standard joke is that her tombstone is going to say "what can I get you?". Anyway, the fact that I'm borderline sick to my stomach for 4 or 5 days every time I have chemo is a huge issue for her because I have no idea what I'm going to be able to tolerate from one day to the next. Today a friend of mine took her to the grocery store and before they left she asked me ( just back from chemo and radiation) what I wanted her to get for me. I said " I have no idea" and her response was " can't you just make believe you're not sick to your stomach for a minute and give me an idea?" OY!

I know it can't be easy living with someone who feels yucky a lot of the time and I do try to stay out of every one's way when I'm really feeling icky. I also know it's scary to have someone you love have a disease like cancer and you want to help and you don't know what to do, as someone who's been on both sides of the issue all I can say is neither side is any fun. Having said that though I've learned that if you let it, the disease can consume your daily life. I try very hard not to let this happen, and if I feel myself sliding down that slope I quickly kick myself in the butt and set myself straight.

When I was first diagnosed of course I was scared and angry and all those things but I also didn't have any sense that life goes on anyway. I thought "oh I have cancer, life as we know it will now stop" well it doesn't and it won't and that's a good thing because that's what keeps me going everyday.

So now I get the weekend off before I start radiation again on Monday, my stomach should be back in shape in the next day or so and I can enjoy the cooler weather and let my Mother cook me dinner.

Chemo,Radiation and a Nap

Today I started round 3 of chemo and 6 weeks of radiation. As always day 1 of the chemo round was 3 hours long ( the others are an hour) and I got to do the IV pole dance again although today I didn't have any partners so it was a solo act. As soon as I finished there we took off over to the cancer center at the hospital for radiation. They were backed up so what should have been 15 minutes took about 45. No big deal, they have a very nice waiting room.

I know I mentioned that I was supposed to get my tattoos today but I didn't because they were running behind ( translation , in 5 minutes it's lunch time). So we'll do that tomorrow , or so they say.

I never realized that having cancer could cause such bathing issues. I' m person who loves her showers and baths and since they've marked me for radiation and put these little plastic stickers on me I've had to just "rinse" because there are magic marker marks that need to stay there too. I've been afraid to take a nice bubble bath because I have this fear of seeing the little plastic things floating by. There are only 2 that would actually be submerged but for all I know those are the most important 2.

Then today they put in the port for the chemo ( under that huge mound of gauze), that stays in all 3 days, it's in the back of my left hand. I can't get that wet either ( note Eeyore watch, I love Eeyore). The last 2 times I used a glove from some hair coloring I had since I don't have any hair to color right now but I'm out of those. I'll ask for a couple of gloves at chemo tomorrow. So I guess tomorrow morning I'm just gonna "rinse" with my left hand sticking out of the shower curtain. Hmm maybe there's another old box of hair color in that cabinet.

When I got home I had some lunch ( I try to eat decent meals before the chemo gets around to turning my stomach upside down) and then it was nap time. I remember how Chris used to fight nap time when he was little, eventually I gave up forcing the issue and I'd inevitably find him sleeping someplace like on the living room floor. I, on the other hand, have come to like nap time because it literally gets me through the day. If I didn't come up here to my room and stretch out in the air conditioning I'd probably just fall asleep in a chair someplace and wake up a sore mess. Pretty soon I'll have to tell my grandson Rex that nap time is a good thing. Maybe he'll listen to his crazy grandma :).

Anyway, day 1 of radiation done, only 30 something more to go, hopefully I'll have my tattoos before it's over so I can really take a shower!