Sunday, March 27, 2011

Holding My Breath


So tomorrow I go for my 3 month scan to make sure Mr. Cancer is still gone. I've been very nervous about this for awhile now, in the cancer world we call it "scanziety". To top it off after the scan I have to wait a week to see the Dr. and get the results...boys and girls can we say torture?

I've been sick this week with some kind of stomach thing and dehydration. The doc seems to think I may have an ulcer, so guess what? On Thursday I get to have another test, an Upper Gi. That's where you drink the icky stuff and they take pictures. I think eventually there will be more pics of my insides than my outsides. At least I talked him out of a barium enema..which if you haven't experienced one, my advice to you is ask for an alternative.

Hopefully this week ( tests excluded) I can get back to work and get ready for Pasta for CASA our big fundraiser. I hear the folks at the office have been working hard on the arrangements while I've been doing paperwork from home. Great helpful folks I work with.

This week Rex turns 1, Chris says he's walking and they've cleared off everything 3 shelves up.

I haven't been able to get to see him since I've been sick and I miss him like crazy.

So friends tomorrow is the day, I'm asking for all good karma, thoughts, prayers, health dances and anything else you can come up with that the scan is clear and I can say 3 months clean!

I'll let you all know as soon as I do.

Happy Spring, Sue

Friday, March 18, 2011

Ahhhhh Spring

That's Emmy enjoying the sunshine after so much snow and gloom all winter.
I have been enjoying it as well and thinking back to last year at this time when we were waiting for Rex to arrive, oh my what a year it has been.
First Rex and then that nasty "C" word that scared all of us and I'm sure took a bit of the joy of having a new baby away from us too.It has been an interesting year, I've learned alot about me and how strong I can be when I need to be, and how sometimes not taking things too seriously is the best therapy. I actually made peace with my ex-husband this year. I felt that Rex should have a whole family no matter where we are or where out lives have taken us. So peace it is and I have to say it was a great weight taken away from me too. So anyone out there carrying a grudge please know it just gets heavier and weighs on your soul the longer you carry it. Wow Sue is getting philosophical...well there is that Kirkegaard connection.
In another 2 weeks I go for my 3 month sacn, no lie guys this has me nervous. I pray every day that they won't find anything and I won't have to go through all of this all over again. Not that it hasn't been fun ( not) but I'd rather find a different way to have fun this summer since I actually don't remember a whole lot about last summer except Dr. visits oh yeah and my favorite soft ice cream place is open in the summer, I remember that :) I'd really like to spend the summer growing my hair back and doing some fixing up around the house that hopefully I'll have the energy for by then. They tell me in a few weeks I sould start getting my energy back after the last round of radiation...OOK I'm ready!
On a lighter note, my Mom had her 85th birthday party as despite her reluctance to have a good time she did and was very happy and surprised to see how many people came and how many others sent regards. She even had a woman that she taught school with in Staten Island over 35 years ago drive up from central New York, that was very special. Of course Rexton got his share of attention and was a very good boy for the whole afternoon. The food was excellent and I really wish we hadn't had so much cake left over because I greatly enjoyed it for a week! Oh the calories!
Well the sun is shining and I don't want to waste any of that nice Vitamin D sos I''be on my way. I'll keep you all posted on y spring fever and the scan too.

Friday, March 4, 2011

Wow it's Been Busy


Hello all , just thouthg I'd start out with a recent pic of Rex, I took it on Tuesady when Larry and I went down to visit for the afternoon. I've finally arranged my work schedule so I can go down to Syr for a visit once a week and give Jenny a break on the day Chris works late teaching a class. All I can say is it's the best medicine in the world, for me...I'm not sure how everyone else feels but I know when I get there and hug that baby I don't much care about the rest of the world while I'm with him.
Speaking of medicine, I saw my rediologist this week and he said my chest sounds clear as a bell to him and he dosen't need to se me for 6 months! I have a CT scan later this month (scary waiting for results) so I'm keeping good thoughts it will be clear. Also this week I went to the Dr. with a sore throat only to find out I have thrush ( ugh) apparetly those of us with little or no immune systems are prone to this. I can live with this but it's very contagious so, I'm out of work for a couple of days again. So frustrating! Luckily I started the antibiotics ( OMG the mouth rinse is NASTY) soon enough that I won't be contagious for my Mom's 85th birthday party tomorrow. We're having an open house at the church from 2-5 to celebrate, she says we shouldn't have done it but I think she's secretly pleased. More on that on the next blog.
I have a NEW bathtub, I had almost forgotten the absolute pleasure I take in soaking in a nice hot bath with a good book! Bathfitters came at 8:30am and werer gone by 3:00pm. It' s so nice and new and shiny LOL, wow you know you're gettong old when you get this excited over a bathtub..sad.
I've been restless and sort of out of the loop lately. The Dr. says I may have a touch of PTSD, once all the excitement of treatments every day and DR. visits every other week is over there is a huge let down that is followed by " Holy Shit I had Cancer! I hope to hell it's gone" I've been tired alot but I know that's the end of the radiation ( they say another month) but I'm also tired of bandanas, I want my hair back! I'm tired of being scared everytime I cough or feel a pain. I know this will pass eventually but from the folks I've spoken to it's always with you at some level...ick. I think I need spring and new growth and flowers and robins and open windows , soon, I hope, soon.
Oh well so I suceeded in my new tub mission, and tomorrow will be Margie's party, then I have a big fundraiser for work and then maybe, I can take a deep breath and let it out slowly.